When and when not to fart?

When Not To Fart

1. In a crowded elevator

2. On a crowded bus

3. In a public library

4. While on a date

5. While giving a speech

6. In church

7. In a crowded classroom

8. In an office when you are alone - somebody's bound to walk in

9. In a movie theater

10. In a walk in freezer - its bound to linger for a while

11. In a ticket line

12. In your car before picking up a family member

13. In bed when you are feeling frisky

14. While fighting a fire in a burning building

15. In a patrol car for a minor violation

When To Fart

1. In your bosses office just as your leaving - make sure its a silent one

2. In a bathroom

3. In a cashiers line - it might help speed things up a little

4. In an empty elevator before you get off

5. Next to an occupied changing room - it may quickly become unoccupied

6. In someone else's unoccupied cubical at work

7. While parachuting

8. While scuba diving

9. In the back seat of a patrol car if you are arrested

10. During interrogation if you're the one being interrogated

11. In you car if you've been car jacked

12. In the changing room when you are sure somebody else's waiting their turn

13. In you car once you've been pulled over - the cop may let you go quicker

14. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors

15. While walking down a crowded hallway - nobody will know who to blame

When and when not to fart?opera singer

Thanks I needed those things cleared up!! I never remember proper farting etiquette!!

When and when not to fart?amc theater opera theater

no way not at all
Great list... Good compilation. They don't teach these fartiquettes even in management schools.

But I don't have an attached balloon which can hold the gas during first 15 instances and release in the next 15 opportunities. I rely on the built-in safety valve and my luck.
I like to fart :)
nice.
When not to fart:

During a sad movie before the screen turns black.

When to fart:

Down an empty grocery store aisle - someone is bound to walk into it. (Peek from around the corner of the previous aisle to see their expression)
the last one is called crop dusting by airline stewardesses
i like the last one
hahaha that's great!